Archive for faith

Find Your Joy

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on July 25, 2024 by thecrossingchicago

I was recently contemplating what services we could add to our senior and veterans in-home care business.  I have had a number of requests for cleaning, so I thought that made enough sense to engage and move forward on.  After all, it was the same clients, referral sources, and workers.  If our caregivers wanted to get extra hours, they could clean.  It all looked good on paper and was logical enough. Perfect!

But was it really?

When I think about marketing cleaning services, there isn’t one modicum of excitement that I can manage to muster up.  For me, I might as well be selling door stops or nose plugs for guinea pigs.  

At this stage in my life as I get ready to turn 45, I have been reflecting on things.  What’s really important?  What would I regret on my deathbed if I didn’t do it in this life?  Am I being fully present?  What brings me joy?

That last question has been particularly prevalent lately.  

In my journey of self growth which includes spiritual practices, sobriety, practicing awareness, and trying to always “be here now,” I have realized that I need to focus on going deeper and not wider.  I have a great propensity to just keep adding things to my life and all they manage to do is add anxiety and weigh me down.

After a period of soul searching, I applied the formula that Frederick Buechner gave us: “The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”  

I like to add one more variable to this equation: skill.  So, in sum, our vocation/calling = our current skills x our greatest passion x the world’s deepest immediate need around us.  

When I did the math, I came up with death.  No, I don’t have a desire to disappear into the ether and see what lies beyond the veil of mystery.  I hope I have plenty of time to conjecture about that.  What I mean is, with a background in geriatrics and coaching and a great love for end of life work, it made sense that I would study to be a death/end-of-life doula.  And because I have ADHD and can never just leave things alone, why not throw in mortuary science?  I know, the inner hamster sometimes gets carried away on its little wheel of ideas.

Some of my deepest moments of joy have come from conversations with the dying and their families.  There are so many types of grief that occur before and after death that manifest in different ways.  What about how we want to die and what we want to have done with us when we’re gone?  Cremation, terramation, hydro cremation, green burial, composting, and so on are all options.  How about the funeral or memorial service?  Even before death there are lessons to be learned about advance directives, long term care, hospice and what it really is or isn’t, and so much more.  Heck, what about how we die?  How does a family know when their loved one is actively dying and how do they cope with all of the physiological, spiritual, and psychological changes that happen in this process?

Helping families navigate these things and helping the dying person have a dignified and good death are things that bring me great joy.  

I think it’s important here to note that (in my feeble mind anyway) happiness and joy are not the same thing.  My definition of happiness is something like: happiness is the feeling elicited as a result of how I think about what is being done or has been done to me.  In other words, it’s very subjective.

Joy, on the other hand, is something that exists on its own.  It’s like the muses that speak to us in those moments when creativity is birthed forth from the face of the deep.  It’s the feeling of being at one with all that is.  It is complete peace and utter contentment.  And . . . I don’t think it ever comes from stuff.  We will never find joy in a new car or a shiny new watch.  

The touch of a lover’s hand as they caress the back of your neck just because they adore you elicits joy.  

Standing on top of a mountain and taking in the majestic vista around you elicits joy.  

Joy is being fully present and still with no other place you would rather be.  Or that’s how I experience it anyway.

Hearing the symphony of birdsong in the forest next to a river or lake as the sun glimmers on its surface while you have a complete at-one-ment with anything and everything that is and ever was elicits joy.

So, what brings you joy – complete, soul-lifting, exuberant, titillating joy?  Whatever it is, do it.  There are lots of things that we can do.  There are plenty of skills that we all have and things that we can get by with, but why settle when there are vocations calling us for this time – here and now?

These words from the mystic may help you as you figure out the equation for yourself: “Don’t ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive and go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Go forth and find your joy and emanate the light of joy as you do.

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Don’t Worry, Be Happy

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on July 22, 2024 by thecrossingchicago

There are so many lenses that we carry and look through.  Our Western Christian lens is patriarchal, of course, and lends to anything that points to Lordship and Kingship and the dominance of God and Christ.  But if we take a deep breath and see through the fog of hegemonic ideology, we find a great depth of mindfulness in the teachings of Jesus.  

Seek ye first the kingdom of God was and still is for many (if not most) about attaining perfection in the eyes of God while propitiating “his” favor.  It was to establish a kingdom, and by so doing, push out all others who did not fit within the construct of said kingdom.  But what’s another way to see it?

Strive for the kingdom of God.  The kin-dom.  The beloved community.  Jesus spoke often about this potential reality where love, kindness, respect, and compassion were the way of life and being.  Seek this reality.  Live into it.  Do what is right in the essence of all that is in full awareness of our interconnectedness and this kin-dom will be made manifest.  What it becomes a reality, we will also be blessed.  Not only will we have everything that we need, but in order to create and live into such a reality, our mindset must change.  Metanoia.  Therefore, we won’t experience such great need and the trivial things will fall away leaving us with gratitude and awareness.

Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own.  As many wise teachers have said, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.”  We do not need to seek out nor hold on to things that may or may not happen.  We do not need to attach to things that have happened and compound their effect.  This is non-attachment.  Notice the events, take note of their effects, check in with ourselves and ask why it is having such an effect on us.  Do the inner work to discover the real cause of our pain.  Rarely is it because of the act itself.  

It doesn’t mean we simply don’t care or have no feelings.  We are not automatons and we aren’t called to be.  As in meditation when our minds wander, take note and watch the thought float by.  When the ego shows up and tells us we aren’t good enough or that someone else isn’t good enough just to make ourselves feel better when we really don’t feel that good, take note and watch it float on by.  

Yes, ego.  I see you.  I hear you.  I’m curious as to why you have shown up in this way.  

Yes, pain.  I see you.  I hear you.  I feel you.  I’m curious as to why you are attaching to this event and choosing to suffer because of it.

Lean into the discomfort and the dis-ease and the confusion.  That’s where the breakthrough is waiting to happen.  We usually shy away from these feelings and then become frustrated because we are constantly stuck in the same place.  Lean into the frustration, too.  

We have the tendency to be looking for what’s next and wondering where we are supposed to be.  Rarely do we sit and experience where we are and breathe in the fullness of the present moment.  Archimedes said the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.  But the reality is the shortest distance between two points is where you already are.

Be non-attached from the clothes, the food, the drink.  Practice gratitude and awareness.  Be fully present.  To do so, our eye, our inner eye, must be clean and focused so that it can see reality and not illusion.  Having a clouded or dirty inner eye leads us to be selfish, to subscribe to unhealthy ideologies, and to do things to get what we want at any cost to the end that we and those around us suffer.  We become prisoners of our own delusions.  After all, The same God through which God sees me is the eye through which I see God.

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Stepping Out of the Boat

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on March 5, 2010 by pastoralb

Do you ever feel like you are running around and chasing shadows? Like you are so busy you can’t stand it, but you never seem to really achieve anything? Do you have something that you know you need to do or a long time goal that you really want to achieve, but somehow are afraid to try? When we feel this way, (we ALL do at one point or another) we need to stop and restructure.

Making such a change and getting organized in all aspects of life takes faith and courage. It is at these times when we need to turn our eyes to Jesus and find what I spoke of in a previous post – the point of origin. It will help to bring us back to reality, so to speak, and help us regain structure and courage in our lives to do what we want and need to.

Think of Peter in Matthew 14. He sees Jesus walking toward him on the water in the midst of a storm and he is frightened. This is us in the chaos of our lives as we try to be all things to all people and still leave a little for ourselves and achieve our goals. Then Peter asks Jesus to invite him out on the water if it is Him. Jesus does so and with a huge leap of courage, he steps out on to the water. When, however, he takes his eyes off of Jesus and starts to have doubt, he begins to sink. He looks around at the mess and fury around him and begins to panic. If we stay focused on the bad, then we will only feel negativity and despair about our circumstances.

Do you have something that you want or need to do, but can’t seem to find the courage or the structure? It may be something in business, or maybe just a relationship that needs mending in your personal life. Think about that stormy night with Peter. When Jesus got into the boat with the disciples, the storm ceased. If we have Jesus in our boat with us, our storms will cease also. Turn your eyes to the only One who can give you the peace and courage to do what you need to and take that step out of the boat. I promise you won’t sink and you’ll be glad you did.

Just a thought . . .

B

* First Step Ministries, NFP is funded in part by weddings performed by Pastor B. 100% of wedding fees go to the ministry to help people in our communities. If you are getting married and need a wedding minister or wedding officiant, check us out at www.ministerforrent.com .

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