The Simple Being of Words
I’ve always been a collector of words. Quotes, proverbs, definitions, what have you. But I don’t just regurgitate them into the ether. When I say them, I mean them. I have had great teachers that have imparted these words to me.
Browning taught me to reach beyond my grasp because that’s what heaven is for.
Eliot taught me that under red rocks reside things more fearful than shadows and that faith, love, and hope are found in the waiting.
Plato taught me that complacency can only creep in when the dream is dead and Hughes taught me that a dream deferred just might sag like a heavy load.
Oliver taught me to notice the grasshoppers and each blade of grass and asked me what I would do with my one precious life.
Rilke taught me that the questions are more important than the answers and Teilhard de Chardin that if I wait patiently I will live into who God made me to be.
Whyte taught me that if I let go then I’ll see that my True Self resides as near as a reflection in a Himalayan lake or any lake and Eckhart that I can only know truth through erasure and that addition by subtraction is the only way to myself.
O’Donohue taught me that the space between all of us is sacred and that in the solitude and unsayable resides the beauty of interconnected knowing.
Yes, I love words and they sometimes love me back. But I’m ready to go deeper now.
Osho teaches that intuition is something that goes beyond knowing. There are things that we think we can grasp intellectually and then there is the unknowable; the mystery that can’t be expressed in words that humans have ever mastered. This may be closer to what the ancient philosophers called gnosis: almost a divine knowledge reserved for only whose who would practice the awareness to receive it.
I think there’s another layer, though, and that’s where I want to go while taking all the rest with me: being. I have lived much of my life in my head amassing knowledge and yes, I have also felt. Sometimes that feeling has been uncomfortable and sometimes downright painful. Now as I embark on a sabbatical journey of deeper self growth, I want to start to embody the things that I have inherited from my teachers. I want to live them into my being and become the things that I speak of.
I will keep reaching, Robert and I will be content when I cannot grasp that which my hand has brushed against. But I will appreciate it nonetheless.
I will have the courage to look under that red rock, T.S. That dark place that my shadow has accompanied me to even if it scares the hell out of me. And when I do, I will carry with me hope that faith and love also accompany me and that on the other side of the darkness is a light that shines in my own being that is so beautiful that even you can’t find the words to express it.
I will not become complacent, Plato. I will be intentional every step of the way and hold up that dream, Langston so that it doesn’t fester in the sun as you so feared. In fact, we’ll carry the dream together.
I’ll tell you what I’m going to do with this one precious life, Mary. I’m going to love fiercely and bravely like each breath was my last. I’m going to smell the fresh cut grass and notice the butterfly as she flutters away from the daffodil and feel the warmth of the sun on my face as I speak gratitude for all of it.
Rainer, I’m going to go ahead and rest in those questions and not be too quick to come to any conclusions. I’m going to learn to appreciate the pauses in between and stay curious along the way. I will wait, Pierre. I’m in no hurry, because I’m starting to see that right here and right now is a pretty good place to be.
I’ll look in every lake and pond and puddle that I can find, David. And even when I can’t see my own reflection, I’ll keep letting go of the unhealthy and the things that I don’t need because I’m going to do it right. I’m going to erase those false narratives, Meister, and I’m not going to add any more than I need because I know I already have oceans of stardust clasped in my palm.
And yes, John. Thank you. The space between us is filled with the laughter of children and burning bushes and the singing of cherubs. It’s blessed and it’s precious and it’s sacred. I’ll try not to forget that. I’ll also remember that even when I’m alone, I’m not. I’ll keep reminding myself that my soul is intertwined with those that I love and that at the core of all existence, we are all interconnected.
I will embody these truths as I continue to learn, grow, and love. I’ll keep writing and I’ll keep manifesting: both the things that can be expressed and those that cannot.
Lest I forget you, Osho: I will wear intuition as a garment of indescribable color. I’ll not become entangled in knowing what it is, but will merely appreciate that it is. I will breathe and I will be.
Apophatica 
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